Category Archives: Foodie Fails

Foodie Fail: Your Salad Spinner Will Never Be the Same

Item: Salad spinner

Spotted in: Most kitchens

Tastes like: It should taste like fresh ruffage. But we hear it’s been tasking like fresh undies.

Best used: In lieu of the spin cycle.

My friend and alert human, Alyce, reported on Facebook that she overheard a woman in New York gushing about how she never used her salad spinner for making salad anymore–only for drying her underwear. We at 3MBB can’t decide if, in the era of pre-washed and bagged greens, it’s a genius way to repurpose a cumbersome and dated manual appliance, or if that’s just gross. Do you spin your lettuce or simply pat it dry? Whichever it is, we bet that lady isn’t making a lot of salad.

Foodie Fails chronicles gross, artificial, and/or ill-conceived food-related creations that we have encountered. Submit YOUR Foodie Fails photo and description to threemorebigbites@gmail.com for a chance to win a Foodie prize!

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Foodie Fails: Master of Disaster Egg Cup and Toast Cutter

Item: “Master of Disaster” Egg Cup and Toast Cutter

Spotted in: Bhs (British Home Stores), Isle of Wight, England

Tastes like: Plastic.Egg-celent” eggs and toast not included.

Best used for: Eating eggs… dangerously. And wasting toast.

Unless you’re James Bond (who, may I remind you, never eats anything aside from scotch, martinis, or beautiful women) breakfast is a profoundly un-dangerous ritual. Despite the HazMat-themed packaging and random addition of “Master of Disaster” on the label, this is a contraption that fails at making breakfast dangerous, and succeeds only in making it actually wasteful. And to finish things off, the shapes made by the toast-cutter look more, ahem, rude than like British Bobbies.

Foodie Fails chronicles gross, artificial, and/or ill-conceived food-related creations that we have encountered. Submit YOUR Foodie Fails photo and description to threemorebigbites@gmail.com for a chance to win a Foodie prize!

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INTRODUCING Foodie Fails: Chocovine

Item: Chocovine, a.k.a. creamy chocolate-flavored wine

Spotted in: Flying J truck stop in Montana, US

Tastes like: A fist-fight between red wine, instant chocolate pudding, and soap.

Best used for: Preserving dissected reptiles or small rodents.

I like chocolate, and I like wine. I mean, I am a lady, after all. And I also like finding amazing things to try on the road. But this grizzly swill, with an ingredient list containing “fine red wine,” cream, artificial flavors, artificial colors, and the happy warning that the product will stay fresh for SIX MONTHS after opening (what bottle of wine stays fresh for six months?), scared even me.

Foodie Fails chronicles gross, artificial, and/or ill-conceived food-related creations that we have encountered. Submit YOUR Foodie Fails photo and description to threemorebigbites@gmail.com for a chance to win a Foodie prize!

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